Unfortunately for us, their execution fell very far short of the concept's potential.
Geoff has been to sport camps/lodges before, so we were expecting a spartan accomodation experience. What we were not expecting was for our room to reek of mold and mildew. Unfortunately the hotel was fully booked and we had arrived late in the evening, so we had to stick it out for the night confident the hotel could solve our problem in the morning.
The next morning we were told that the hotel was fully booked and we were stuck with our room - too bad! After some debate they managed to find a room for us to switch to. Thankfully we were wise enough to ask to view the room before moving our stuff over. The mold was so bad the bellboy wouldnt even enter it! 2 rooms later (where are all these rooms coming from?) we found one that was acceptable, though probably only in comparison to the horrorshow first alternate room. Unfortunately we discovered that the lock on the sliding glass door to the room didnt work, so every time we left we had to pack valuables and electronics up in locked suitcases and hope for the best.
Safe air? X (think Family Feud noise in your head). Secure room? X What next? Safe water? X. Unlike Asara, who gave us 6 litres of water per day (with more just a call away), what does Thanyapura give you? 2 x 350ml bottles. Really? I am supposed to replenish all of my sweated-from-exercise water and brush my teeth with 350ml of water?
We could look past the room and drive to Tesco-Lotus for water if everything else was as awesome as we hoped. Next issue was the food. After eating way too much rice, noodles and fried things, we couldnt wait to try the vaunted, award winning, vegetarian-friendly, organic health food on offer. Problem one was that one of the 2 restaurants was closed for renos - a problem when you are in the middle of nowhere. The next problem was that the menu was neither healthy nor vegetarian friendly! Fried spring rolls? Pad Thai? Pizza? Really? For breakfast too? At least they had vegetable juices and protein shakes - they comprised about 2/3 of Geoff's meals.
The next fun problem was when we went to book tennis lessons. A call when we booked the room and email to the tennis pro Roger before we arrived assured us (even recommended it!) that we did not need to book lessons in advance. Of course, when we got there, we were told that there was only 1 lesson slot available the whole week of our stay - Friday night at 22:00-23:00! Messages and emails to Roger the tennis pro resulted in exactly no responses. Very professional.
This of course was the final straw for us. We had never expected a luxurious resort experience, but we did expect that the room would be safe and not damaging to our health. The food we could overlook and survive on veg juices and protein smoothies. But the whole reason we were there - indeed, the entire raisin d'etre of this place - was for the athletics. And now those arent available?
As we had prepaid for the room and had 5 of 7 nights left, we needed to get a refund on our remaining nights. The very nice and empathetic "Hotel Manager" Noot listened to our case and after 🗼40 minutes of discussion agreed that we should be refunded our remaining nights. Great, right? Of course nothing would be that simple at Thanyapura! When Expedia called the hotel to confirm the refund they were informed that nobody at the hotel could authorize the refund and the only people that can strictly work 9-4 Thai time (so middle of the night in North America) Monday to Friday. This of course was a Friday which meant it wont be sorted anytime soon.
As I write this we dont have a resolution to the issue. Hopefully soon and hopefully the hastily-booked Indigo Pearl will have a mold-free room for us!
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